We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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