im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
