Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
