he wants to bone in the snuggie
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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