Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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