You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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