Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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