Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize