Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
