I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
