Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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