I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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