We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
