She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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