Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
