super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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