Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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