I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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