You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
