week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it's like iHOP with fire
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
