speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
