can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize