This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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