I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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