My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
