white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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