No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
