Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
