Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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