??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
