wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
