almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
