when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
