If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
