My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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