but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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