everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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