i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Barsexuality is the new black.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
