You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
