He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Enjoy the penises
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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