At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
