Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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