i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize