He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
