I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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