Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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