I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize