I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
