I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Its about making memories worth repressing
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize