My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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