I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize