u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
