the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize