she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
