Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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