What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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