i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
my liver is dry heaving
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize