so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
