are you still at the devil's house?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
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